Covet vs Content

Oh hi blog world...you're still here.  I rarely blog anymore, but the last couple of weeks I've been really feeling like I need to be better at blogging/journaling.  I'm not a great writer, in fact I'm pretty sure I barely passed English my Jr year of high school (can't believe I just admitted that) but I want to do the best I can at writing my thoughts and feelings as of late.

Only my close family and friends know that Luke and I have been trying to get pregnant for the last 13 months, or 16 "cycles" if you will.  Infertility is never something I thought we would struggle with.  We have gotten pregnant 3 times with no trouble at all (the first ended in miscarriage), so of course a year ago when we started our journey of trying to conceive we assumed it would be the same way.  Golly were we wrong.

Without going into the details of everything that has happened, I just wanted to share a scripture that struck me tonight as I was reading the blog of a girl I went to school with (in fact I think we were both in that English class I mentioned earlier):

"Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee"  (Hebrews 13:5).

I realized as I read that scripture that I have been very occupied with what we don't have, and leaving very little time to be content and grateful for what we do have. Of course this isn't the first time this has occurred to me during this whole process, but it is a good reminder for me to be better at living in the "here and now" instead of yearning for what is to come.  It's a hard balance to find while trying to conceive, but I know I can do better at it.  

That being said, my blessings are plenty.  I have a wonderfully devoted (and smokin hot) husband who loves me and treats me like gold.  I have two beautiful, healthy, funny (read crazy) children who fill my days with laughter and happiness, ups and downs, and stretch me in ways that I wouldn't find outside of motherhood.  My family is my greatest source of light and I am so grateful for them!  Above all I have the knowledge of a loving Heavenly Father who listens to and answers my prayers; who knows what I have need of before I even ask for it.  I know Jesus Christ's infinite Atonement covers everything I am going through and will continue to go through.  How grateful I have been for that knowledge during all of this.  Although it has been hard trying to understand why we would be facing this trial, I can say that I truly am grateful for the things that I have learned through everything and how it has brought Luke and I closer than we ever have been before.  

A hymn that has played over and over in my mind for the last year or so is "The Lord Is My Light" which says:

The Lord is my Light; then why should I fear?

By day and by night his presence is near.

He is my salvation from sorrow and sin;

This blessed assurance the Spirit doth bring.

The Lord is my Light;

He is my joy and my song.

By day and by night he leads,

He leads me along. 

My heart is full tonight.  I feel so blessed.  I know all my blog posts won't always be so serious or heart-felt, but tonight I feel to rejoice, so thank you for bearing with me as I shared some of my innermost thoughts.

XOXO

A blog post? You betcha!

I can't believe it's been so long since the last time I blogged.  It's that darn Instagram I tell you! ;)  I have a goal to be better at blogging this summer because it forces me to take pictures with my camera and not just my phone.  My parents got us a new camera for Christmas and I've loved being able to take pictures again...like these ones from Easter: 

Do we have the sweetest kids on the planet or what?  

Brock is in full-blown 3 year-old mode.  He's independent, smart, funny, and such a little stinker.  To say he pushes my buttons is an understatement, but he's also one of the most perceptive and sweet little boys I've ever met.  He knows when I need a love and he is so forgiving of my impatience.   He still has two more years before he starts Kindergarten and he can already recognize all of his letters and sounds, numbers, colors, and shapes.  I wish I could take credit for my little smarty-pants, but he is just a curious boy who soaks up information like a sponge...just like his dad.  He's a crack-up to talk to because he repeats things he hears on TV or in adult conversation and knows how to apply it in his conversations.  He still loves trains and cars and he rides his little trike around the neighborhood like a regular Dennis-the-Menace.  He loves loves loves his dad and the two of them have way too much fun together.

Sophie {Peach} is 18 months and getting too big!  They let her go to nursery when she was 16 months old because of our callings, and she has loved it and been so good in there.  The nursery leaders can't believe how resilient she is to the kids stealing her toys and pushing her over...we tell them her older brother trained her well for nursery. ;)  She can't say very many words, but she has plenty to say!  She is a silly and spunky little thing and always so happy.  She loves wearing hats and can often be found wearing Brock's bike helmet around the house.  She loves babies and kitties, reading stories, trying to ride Brock's bike, helping mom make dinner, and snuggling.  I love that she'll still let me hold her tight and kiss on her soft cheekies.  She dances every time she hears music and that girl has some crazy good dance moves!  Oh and I almost forgot, one of her favorite things is the "Clausty" as my uncle Richey called it...you put your hand over her face and jiggle her head and she thinks it's the funniest thing ever.  I tell you, she nuts!! She is mommy's little BFF.  :)

We are loving watching our kids get older and seeing their funny personalities come out.  They are our greatest source of joy and bring so much light to our lives.  There are good and bad days as a mom, but the joys definitely outweigh the hardships.  I'm so grateful for my crazo kiddos!

Very Belated Summer Update

I'm sorry for the lack of posts this summer, we've been without a camera and I feel like without seeing the pictures it's hard for me to remember all of the details of the summer, but I'll do my best with the pictures we do have (most are from my phone).

 First came girls camp...which was my last girls camp.  I just got released and put in as the Primary Chorister! Boy was camp an expensive one this year!  On the way up to our camp I got lost (hey, they didn't give out maps, I've never been to Mantua before!) and got pulled over by Robocop and received my very first speeding ticket.  This was not just any speeding ticket, it was a $290 speeding ticket.  Awesome.  On the last night of camp I also dropped and broke our camera.  Double awesome.  But as for actual girls camp, it was so wonderful.  Our previous Bishop unexpectedly passed away a few days before girls camp and we knew that girls camp wouldn't be the same in light of our tragedy, and we were right, it wasn't the same.  It was better.  The Lord blessed us and lifted us and we united in ways that we wouldn't have otherwise and it was a really tender thing to witness the girls really come together and be there for eachother.  We have a really close-knit ward and it was hard for us to lose a man we all loved so dearly, but we are grateful for the knowledge we have of eternal families.  Being in YW was a lot of fun and I miss my girls and the leaders so much, but I'm grateful for the time we had together!  In the picture, the front row is me, next to the YW pres and the other laurel advisor.  LOVE those ladies!

 Next came DISNEYLAND!!  Yes, my poor broken camera had mercy on me for 30 seconds and worked the morning we were going to Disneyland so I could get a picture of my kids (and Luke) before experiencing Disney for the very first time.  It was amazing and magical and everything you dream it will be.  The kids absolutely loved it and Brock still hasn't stopped talking about the "Casey Jr. Train" which was obviously his favorite ride.  I was surprised at the number of rides that we were able to go on as a family, we spent the whole first day just doing family rides and there were many that we missed.  I hadn't been back since I was about 12 and Luke was like 2 the last time he went, so it was fun to see Luke and the kids experience it for the first time.  I wish I could have captured the look on Brock's face when he saw Mickey.  Ah such fun, such great memories!

 Sophie getting ready for a long day at the Happiest Place on Earth.  She was an angel and just went along for the ride (literally).  She even stayed up til 11pm (worst mom ever) on the last night to watch "World of Color" which is a water, lights and music show that is so incredible it blows your mind.  Disney doesn't do anything half-way...not even 3/4 the way.  Everything is so over the top there it's amazing.  Disneyland was enjoyed with my side of the family...thanks Mimi and Papa for the fun memories!!

On the way home from Disneyland we met up with Luke's side of the family in St. George.  Sadly no pics but we loved being in St. George.  We did what we do best...relax!  We went to the pool, met Grandpa Lee (Luke's Italian grandpa) at the Pasta factory for some deliciousness, did a little shopping at the outlets, relaxed, went to the pool some more...yeah it was great.  Most of all it was fun to spend time with Luke's family.  We love hanging out with those guys!  Thanks Geese and Lis, we love you!!

 Ok so I just had to include this to show you all how nice of a sister I am...so my brother Guy's girlfriend had some sweet connection to some premier tickets to see HP7 (Harry Potter for those of you who are like me) a day before it actually came to theaters and my little sister "Bebe" invited me to go with her.  You have to know, I am not a Harry Potter fan...not that I don't like it, I just have never caught the fire like the rest of the planet.  I think I saw the first 4 movies with my family but that was as far as I got.  So I agreed to go with her...in full costume.  Yes, full costume.  I dressed as Luna Lovegood.  So on the drive down, Bebe updated me on the last 3 movies and I warned her not to be offended when I didn't cry with her during the opening credits.  And yes, she did cry during the opening credits...and throughout most of the movie.  And also literally jumped out of her seat with excitement at one point.  Yes indeed.  So a few things,  1.  I LOVED the movie, yes I did.  2.  I seriously contemplated reading the books, maybe I still will someday.  3.  I learned that my sister and I have a lot of similarities but also many differences...all of which make me love her more.  Thanks Beebs, Guy and Kels for the super fun movie night!

 Here's a lovely phone picture of another wedding cake I did this summer.  I'm loving this cake thing!

Sophie is now standing and starting to cruise a little bit.  She loves walking holding onto my hands and holds on for dear life...she. will. not. let. go.  I will have to post a movie of her walking because she has a very dainty walk.  Toes pointed, feet stepping right in front of the other like a true lady.  That's my Peach!  She also started wearing pigtails this summer which are totally cute but make her look like a big girl. :(

5 of the 8 grandkids on my side of the family hanging out this summer.  Brock is on the far left, then Jesse, Porter, Chelsea and Eliza.  Porter and Brock play so cute every time they are together, we wish we could always have the Black family around!  My sister Brook recently announced that she is expecting their 4th child early next year.  Hooray!!

Let's hope that Santa will surprise us with an early Christmas present (like before Sophie's 1st birthday) and bring us a new camera soon so I can post some current pictures of my crazy kids.  Love to all!!

Giveaway Entry :)

I'm a follower of many blogs, although I find it hard to find time to actually read them.  I'm always so bummed when I see "my" blogs giving away things and I don't win...but then I remember that I didn't enter to win it in the first place.  Oopsie.  So here I am, placing a link on my blog hoping that it wins me a swimmin suit!  Or bathing suit if you please...because we all know there's more bathin than swimmin goin on where I'm concerned.  I promise a REAL blog update is coming soon, our camera has been broken all summer...details to follow.  Now for the swimsuit winning link with fingers crossed: 

Hapari Swimwear

Wedding Cake

I had the pleasure of doing a wedding cake for a cute couple who got married this week in the Bountiful Temple!  When she brought me her color swatches for the cake I was surprised at how bright of colors she had chosen, but they are such a bright and fun couple so it totally fit them.  This cake was a lot of fun and I am also doing her twin sister's wedding cake too...in two weeks!  Can you believe it, twin sisters getting married two weeks apart!  Watch out Michael and Jenny!  Luke of course helped me deliver the cake and he has a new appreciation for his dad that delivered wedding cakes for his mom for 25 years...it's a heavy and stressful job!  I'm very grateful for his help and support.  I get to start learning the "Mrs. Flinders" cakes (from Mrs. Flinders herself) in the next couple of weeks, so wish me luck!!

Summer Lovin Fun

One of my favorite things to do with the kids during the day is to go out and draw with chalk on the driveway and blow bubbles.  We do it several times a week, sometimes several times a day.  Last week our next door neighbor, Darlene, saw us out playing and grabbed her camera (she's a photographer) and came out to take a few pictures of the kids playing.  Wasn't that nice of her?  I love these pictures because she captured our normal everyday life, which I usually forget to take pictures of.  So it will be fun to look back and see something that wasn't a holiday, birthday or special occasion...just two kids and their mom out on a summer day.

You can all breathe now...

I know there are so many people who read my blog and are anxious for me to update it.  I'm sure you've all just been checking your computers daily for the moment when I will post something magical for you all to see.  Well wait no longer...the day is here! 

Ok really, I know my mom and mother-in-law are the only ones who really look at my blog, so for you two lovely women...here are some pictures of your beautiful son and grandchildren.  Enjoy. :)

 Yes, Master Luke graduated with his MBA (technically he walked across the stage and was hooded with a harry potter hood thing and will actually receive his diploma in two weeks when he finishes his last two classes!!!!)  Are we proud of him or are we proud of him?  I don't think I've ever met someone with the kind of dedication that Luke has had in completing his education...and yes, it is complete.  He is done forever!

 I know this picture isn't very good quality, but I feel like this picture sums up the life of Brock and Sophie so perfectly.  Brock is always such an animated little thing and Sophie is just enamored with him.  It is such a fun thing to see my children interact and play with eachother.  I absolutely love it!

 My sweet kids.  Sophie is usually such a smiley girl but for some reason the day that I wanted to take pictures of my kids in their Easter outfits she was feeling oh so meloncholy [read with a Megamind accent].  Still cute though wouldn't ya say?

 For Memorial Day weekend we decided to do our very first "stay-cation" and we took Brock up to the Heber Valley Creeper for a "Day Out with Thomas".  On this very special weekend, Thomas the tank engine himself actually pulls the Heber Creeper and we got to ride inside it!  I wish I could have captured the look on his face when he first saw Thomas...it was a look that you would imagine if a child saw Santa Claus; just complete awe and utter bliss at the same time like, "Thomas is real!!!"  Let's just say he was one happy boy!

This was Luke and Brock on the train together.  Mimi and Papa sat across the isle from us and Papa was able to capture some priceless pictures of Brock on his very first Thomas ride.  It's obvious to see where Brock got his adorable looks from! {raising eyebrows up and down}

"Look at my huuuusband ya'll!" -Flo, from Disney's "Cars" (I have way too many Disney movies memorized)

And last, but not least...our Beautiful Sophie.  Our little Peach.  She might possibly be the sweetest little girl on the planet.  She's got a little of her mom's crazy in her too, but what an angel we have living in our family.  We love our Sophie B.