The past couple of days I have been feeling sorry for myself. Brock has been particularly clingy and needing constant attention which has been wearing me out. I've been losing my temper with him more than usual when he throws all of his food on the floor instead of eating it. I have been telling him "NO" more sharply when I find his hands in the toilet filled to the brim with soaking toilet paper and him covered in it too. I've been shooing him to go play with his toys while mommy puts her makeup on. I just need a minute!
Well today, after finally getting him to take a nap...just one nap...he usually takes two, I sat on the couch and opened up Luke's laptop and came across this blog. An LDS mother who left her two toddlers in the tub for a few minutes while putting away some laundry last week and her son {who is 5 weeks older than Brock} drowned. He is in the PICU at Primary Childrens and barely alive.
I sobbed as I read of the pain and horror she is going through right now. I can't even fathom. I bet this mom would give anything to be able to see her son playing in the toilet right now, to have her son pulling at her pants and whining until she picked him up to cuddle him. I am so selfish. I have been pleading for forgiveness for the last hour for being so ungrateful for the sweet healthy little angel Heavenly Father has blessed us with. There is not very much else that matters to me right now, my perspective has changed. My prayers are going out to this family right now and to little Bronson who is in the hospital fighting for his life, I am so sorry for what they have to endure...but I thank them for the change of heart I have experienced today...
I think I'm going to go sit by Brock's bedroom door and wait until he wakes up from his nap, I can't wait to hold him again.
7 comments:
Dont' beat yourself up! We ALL have those days! We learn as we go!
K - you shouldn't have shared that...and YES YOU SHOULD HAVE!!! I NEEDED this tonight. It has been the hardest day ever - lots of crying and feeling some of the feelings you are feeling. When I read that other blog...I've been in tears. It's exactly what I needed, not that I think their lives are helping mine. But, listening to her testimony and sharing her feelings of motherhood. I can't even express how sad I am for that family that I don't even know, but I do know that our Heavenly Father's Children our his greatest gift and we as Mothers receive those precious gifts (if that doesn't say how he feels about his mother's)...that's deep to think about. :0) I needed to remember that today, as it's been one of the hardest days I've had with Bryson in a LONG time.
What a touching moment! Funny how little sings pop up and put you back where you belong.
Thanks so much for that Megz. It is so easy for ALL of us to lose our patience and get upset. While it is true that we would all appreciate a little alone time, what you said is absolutely true. All we can hope and dream for is to be with our little ones - loving and teaching them and appreciating the joy they bring and their good health. Thank you so much for sharing and helping me to remember and cherish EVERYTHING that has to do with our little ones.
Thanks for sharing Megan! How wonderful motherhood is and how precious life is! I definitely needed these reminders--thanks so much!
Oh my goodness I cried my eyes out just at your blog post I can't imagine reading the one you are talking about! What a wonderful mommy you are!
Megz,
lady lady you just blogged about is in my mom's ward. She used to be my young women's leader. So crazy!!! I did the same thing when i read her blog! I just sobbed. It made me give my zo who is so similar to brock an extra love or two..
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